Tuesday, April 5, 2011

SAMANTHA POWER - QUEEN OF THE MAY

(a view into the future)

WHO could have guessed that back in April 2011 when Obama appointed Samantha Power [aka Mrs. Cass Sunstein] Secretary of State, that it would be such a fantastic match, a literal Batman and Robin duo!

Her credentials speak for themselves as Samantha Power started her rise to the right hand of Obama’s Secretary of State when she was a journalist in Bosnia, watching the UN fail in its peacekeeping mission, fresh out of her ivory tower at Yale. She even managed write a book about it while likely dodging sniper fire like Hillery Clinton had to do! The fact that Obama appointed a woman from Ireland who has never managed anything more complicated than her grocery list and who is now running our foreign policy and deploying our military should not be counted. Her gravitas looms large as she once posed in an evening gown for Men's Vogue. Why, right there alone, makes her a world traveler and an experienced leader in foreign relations and her training at Harvard Law School can only rank right up there with Obama's schooling there and his outstanding, although absentee, leadership as the president of the Harvard Law Journal. Indeed, the fact that she has the full backing of George Soros, the owner of the DNC, reveals the full fact that this woman, devoid of any real foreign policy experience is the perfect match for Barack Obama.

Upon taking the lead in the State Department, Ms. Cass Sunstein, er, Samantha Power, invoked the new Obama Doctrine of "The Responsibility to Protect (R2P) which basically states that national sovereignty is not a privilege but a responsibility. In other words, it takes a village on the global scene or rather, a one world responsibility to prevent any squabbles by using the military as a "meals-on-wheels" or a "cop on the beat."

And who can nay-say her first deployment of the United States Marines to the Gabonese Republic where the President, Ali Bongo Ondimba had gotten into a fist fight with the Prime Minister Paul Biyoghé Mba, over seating arrangements at a State dinner. Within two days, the Marines had the situation well in hand and now, we have a new base there, with a 99 year commitment to prevent any fist fights in that Republic. While Republicans bitched about the cost of the new commitment, there can be no doubt that intervening before this fist fight turned into, say, a civil war, was the right thing to do. Obama was on vacation in Hawaii during this scuffle and congratulated Samantha in an email.

Scarcely was this situation settled when Samantha Power acted decisively and dispatched elements of the 82nd Airborne to Clipperton Island, after French troops were beaten up and then routed by roving bands of wild apes. The troops dropped from C-17 aircraft, engaged in wild firefights with these apes, until they gained the upper hand and routed the apes to the south end of the island, where the UN was called in to gather them up and relocate them to a better location. The US Army found and freed 52 French troops who had been held hostage by the apes. Secretary of State Power gave this statement: "This proves the validity of our doctrine to intervene anywhere, anyplace, any time, using the US military, to stop any potential fight before it gets out of hand and turns into another genocide. The French troops were lucky this time but next time, they and their nation could become the next Rwanda." Obama immediately flew over to France to take credit for this action and receive an award from President Sarkozy. Rumor has it that Obama may be awarded yet another Nobel Peace Prize, making that number three in as many years.

The US Navy was also tasked recently, having to send in bluejackets to Pitcairn Island due to a quarrel due to a reported clash between iguanas and gulls for food sources and nesting areas. The incident was so severe, that Secretary of State Power flew to the island to negotiate a settlement between the two groups, using the threat of the US Marines as an occupying, er, peacekeeping force to obtain a settlement. It appears that the gulls are staying on the north end of the island and the iguanas the south end, but the situation could flare up at any moment. The State Department released this press statement early this morning that briefly stated, "This must be considered another stunning validation of Secretary Power's consistent intervention in the affairs of other nations or species. Who knows how quickly this could have gotten out of hand. Yes, it cost the US a few billion to relocate a naval fleet but that is a small price for the US Taxpayer to pay for peace at Pitcairn Island.

And most recently, in a joint effort with the Greek Army, elements of the 10th Mountain Division were deployed to Mount Athos and had to intervene due to intense bickering between the Civil Government and an unnamed Greek Orthodox priest over several cases of plum slivovitz. After a few weeks of mediation, the situation has cooled down and a division of the liquor has been obtained by junior negotiators from the State Department, sent there by Secretary Power post haste!

It has been reported that there has been an issue between the Prince and the Regent in Liechenstein over several tennis issues where points were awarded in error, allowing the Regent to win several matches. Secretary Powers stated today that she is keeping an eye on the situation and will utilize NATO and US forces to intervene if needed to maintain the peace. President Obama echoes those thoughts on a twitter broadcast while golfing on Saint Kitts Island. "We will do whatever we think is best for the minor nations on this planet, much as we decide what is right for our own citizens and we will continue to 'nudge' them in the right direction," Power stated today from the Oval Office, standing in for President Obama, who was on vacation in Thailand.

2 comments:

  1. Too close to the truth.

    At first I thought that this was a late 1 April posting, but then everything about this bunch is 1 April or 2 Feb.

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  2. Pack Rat,

    Indeed. Amazing how Obama surrounded himself with ivory-towered idiots, clueless about anything other than gaining tenure and milking the taxpayer's teat.

    Thanks for the laugh i.e., groundhog day.

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