Imagine, for example, you’re a liberal (yeah, yeah, you’d slit your throat first as would the Gunny) and say you’re an idiotic politician, (sorry, I digress), and you see a homeless bum sucking on a bottle of MD 20/20 in the gutter. Why, your heart would simply go out to that bum. How, you’d wonder, could we allow this poor poor person to exist like this? We HAVE to do something about it. As a liberal, why, your first thought would be to levy a tax on “normal” people to pay for the bum’s existence right? In the vain hope that said bum MIGHT not only recover but also become an active member in the Democrat National Party (he’d vote Demerrhoid regardless of his condition, and numerous times). That is an addiction that the liberals suffer from. Call it, the “Robin Hood” Syndrome; that is, forcibly taking from the many through taxes, for the few (with a little siphoned off for your pet projects ala KKK Byrd), in order to assuage their addiction of taxing and spending for the good of all.
Yes, how you would RAIL at such things as: ending all subsides, ending foreign aid to countries who hate us, more drilling and mining for more jobs (Gaia must be worshipped), more farming for cheaper food prices, no more corruption in government, like we have with Soros, Goldman/Sachs, Fannie and Freddie, and Obama’s entire cabinet. You would protest on the very door step (private property be damned) of anyone stupid enough to stand athwart your agenda of bigger government and growing such legendary agencies as the DoEduc, EPA, DOE, ATF (damn those gun owners anyway), etc. And any right-winger, who tried to cut discretionary spending, clean up the waste, fraud, and corruption in Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, and DOD, and even TRY to balance the budget in order to pay down the national debt, would be keel-hauled or sat on by Rosie O’Donnell.
Imagine again, that you’re a 60’s style lib and can remember the heady days of the Chicago riot at the DNC Convention, Bill Ayers and Bernie Dorhn blowing up buildings and killing people, Jane Fonda aiding the enemy, LBJ’s 90% tax rate, burning the flag, and of course, the crème de la crème, spitting on returning GI’s. You literally climaxed in your panties when Barry Soetoro refused to place his hand over his heart during the anthem AND refused to wear a flag lapel pin (until his handlers made him do it for the Lapdog Media). You must be in a tizzy as Barry Soetoro, Secretary Gates, and Admiral Mullen not only put WOMEN into combat roles but allowed homos to serve openly. Finally you sigh, imagining, say, a transvestite battalion whose mission is to decoy the enemy into thinking that there are not REAL combat soldiers around and thus, lure them into the kill zone, for an ambush by the Fighting 69th (The Fighting Sodomites), in a vicious attack into their rear area. Not to mention your Dear Leader showing those right-wingers his mettle as he has his Tonkin Gulf moment and starts another Vietnam in Libya. Only when it’s botched beyond belief and a Republican like LtCol Allen West (POTUS 2012) takes over and tries to unscrew it, will you resume spitting on GI’s and blaming the war on him.
Indeed, as a lib, you’d be swooning about how the seas recessed after that tsunami in Japan, once your lord and master got involved. And how those nuclear reactor rods behaved themselves once Barry put his evil eye on them before taking another well-deserved vacation in Rio? SHAZAM! Yes, we are truly loved by our former enemies, Russia, China, Iran, Yemen, North Korea, Venezuela, Hamas, Hezbollah, and the PLO and all because of Obama’s masterful presence, his quick thinking skills, his decisive and fact actions, and those two awesome autobiographies written for Obama by Bill Ayers.
As a member of the far-left freakocracy, you’d enjoy banning anything that you don’t agree with, as long as we retain the freedom of choice to murder infants. (40% black abortion rate nationwide) Salt? Oh HELL NO! Transfats? Mickie D’s? Cigs? Stinky right-winger cigars? Doritos? Booze? That’s next. But you’d vigorously defend the Folsom Street March as well as the Freakifornia State Government paying for you to have a sex change. After all, as a liberal male, you’re already halfway there! And drug addicts? Why, they need free needles to shoot up and a place to crash and surely, you right-wing pigscum Repuklicans can afford to buy a flophouse, just like they did in Anchorage Alaska, the Red Nose, er, Red Roof Inn, for the bums to chill. (Cable is optional but preferred)
As a leftist apologist for BJ Bubba Klintoon and his traveling circus, BJ’s in the White House are de rigueur and thus, fully approved by you, as is Date Night, $100.00 a pound Kobe beef night, Earth, Wind, and Fire Night, Stevie Wonder night, Spain trips, etc, but woe unto Bush 43 for taking time at his ranch for a working weekend with Cheney, Rice, etc. They must be fully scourged by you and Cindy Shatehead and the Code Pink hotties! Those Code Pink babes can really make a liberal man like you get all huffy huh? You would choose Lynne Stewart or Helen Thomas over Laura Ingraham or Dana Loesch ANY DAY! You stud. Yes, only we on the LEFT can piss down the backs of the peasants and tell them its raining, and laugh about it over cocktails with Rachie Madcow and Chrissy "tingly leg" Matthews. Stupid flyover states anyway!
Thus endth the lesson. You dear readers can now turn on your brains again, you have reverted back to intelligent, critical thinking, personally responsible, America loving, red-blooded, meat-eating, Conservatives. You see fellow patriots, Liberals and Liberalism have an impossible time defending their values beliefs, which is why they need easy slogans, catch phrases, bumperstickerisms, boldfaced lies, ad hominem attacks, and violent attacks (think SEIU or ACORN or the AFL-CIO) to get their message out. Their open minds are the results of one too many cracks over the noggin by a New Black Panther Party truncheon. Strangely enough, to a liberal caught up in a full-blown episode of mental collapse, that mush between their horns MAKES them believe the crapulence that emanates from the oral sewers of Chrissy Matthews, Whoopi Goldberg, Joy(less) Behag, Bill Maher, SS Sgt Schultz, and a host of other morons caught up in the same mental disintegration. Thus, brothers and sisters, we should consider whether laughing at liberals caught up in the various addictions inherent to their species is fair and just. Think about it for a moment…
Yeah, it’s fair and just! They deserve it, and worse, merely for electing a pair of fools.