Friday, March 4, 2011

NEWSFLASH FROM HELL

This just in.

It appears that information has leaked out of Satan's abode concerning the late scumbag of the Senate, Ol Chappaquiddick Ted Kennedy, renter of whorehouses, meeting facilitator for commies, and crazed Oldsmobile driver himself.

When Ol Waitress Sandwich himself died and went to Hell, he was greeted not by some lowly demon but Beezelebub himself! 

Satan: "Welcome Ted, I've been waiting on you for awhile and wanted to congratulate you for all of your fine work screwing America in the Senate, and for lying, stealing, and cheating all of your life."

Ted: "My pleasure, you kept your word after I sold my soul. I was rich and famous and won rigged election after rigged election. Sitting on my ass and doing nothing, while getting paid for whoring, treason, drinking, and debauchery."

Satan: " And since you did so well, I'm in a good mood after cleaning out Nancy Pelosi's future cell, that I'm going to allow you to pick your place for eternity."

Ted: "Sweet. Will there be waitresses? Is John Kerry coming soon?"

Satan: "No, but you'll like one of the three choices." Satan nods to a demon who opened up door number one. "You can redeem your soul by attending church and AA meetings for eternity."

Ted: (Shivering) "NO NO NO NO NO NO..."


Satan: "Okay, how about door number two? (Up it went) "Here you can relive your life on Earth only you'll be forced to tell the truth and do the right thing, every time, but without the 55 gallon drum of Cutty Sark in your office."

Ted, "Oh HELL no. I'll take door number three."

Satan: "Ah, the Kennedy luck holds." Satan points to a room full of famous Democrats, from Wilson, to Congressman Andrew May, LBJ, FDR, etc, standing up to their waist in a fetid pool of feces, urine, and vomit, drinking coffee. "Head on in Ted and enjoy."

So Ted walks in, draws a cup of coffee (looks around for the Cutty to no avail), and joins ABSCAM Murtha, who is talking with FDR. Just after Ted takes a sip of his coffee, a demon walks in, 

Demon: "Okay, coffee break is over. Y'all get back on your heads for the next 100 years."

8 comments:

  1. I love this Gunny.. A good one!!

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  2. You rat bastard. WHERE was the SPEW ALERT??? Thanks for the laugh.

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  3. Liberal Stupidity,

    Indeed amigo. I can think of better ways for these traitors to spend eternity.

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  4. clyde,

    Sorry amigo! haha. Had to post some info on Ted obtained via the Dante line!

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  5. funny but most likely true!

    you forgot the part about the 1965 immigration reform act to get all the mexicans instead of europeans into America and how well that is turning out 4 decades later... Kennedy should be in a special Mexican drug gang killing beheading kind of hell... that is where I see him anyway....

    cheers gunny

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  6. Gunny,

    That was funny. Thanks for the laugh.

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