THE SPEECH OBAMA BADLY WANTS TO GIVE

How apropos that the Gunny wrote this YESTERDAY, not knowing that Comrade Obama would sell the farm when it came to his bogus nuke treaty with Russia. Once again, the limp-noodle betrayed America. Enjoy.
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Politburo Chairman Nancy Pelosi: "I call upon our great Comrade, Comrade Obama."

(Comrade Obama's appearance in the new Politburo on the Potomac is greeted with thunderous applause lasting for several minutes until the Dear Leader raised his hand. All those in the hall of the Marx Theater (formerly the JFK Theater) rise and shout: "Long live great Obama." "Huzzah for Comrade Obama." "Long live the New Worker's Constitution!" "Obama is Social Progress for All." "Long live Comrade Obama, leader of the workers of the world.")

Comrade Obama: "Comrades, to tell you the truth, I had no intention of making a speech today but the highly respected and loved Comrade Pelosi dragged me to this meeting by the sheer force of her argument that the people wished to hear me speak. What shall I talk about fellow comrades? What sort of speech shall I make? The voters have already served me a mandate to lead as I wish before the elections had even been finished. From Marx, Lenin, Engels, Stalin, and Mao, our speeches have already been said but the other responsible comrades. What can be added to these great speeches? What questions can anyone have that has not already been explained over and over by the addresses of the National Democratic Socialist Party? By the speeches of Comrade Andy Stern of the Council of the SEIU Trade Unions? By the Central Committee of Culture and Advanced Thinking led by Comrade Ayers? By the Young Social Democratic League? By the Committee of Central Planning or the Societal Organization League? What can be added to these explanations?

I could, naturally, make a speech about everything and still say nothing, especially if my teleprompter is broken, (laughter) but that would be far from the norm. They say I am the greatest of orators not only over here but in the European lands as well, with the exception of the capitalist country of Denmark, who refused us the Olympics due to politics. (Boos and jeers.) I am no great hand at such speeches (One man shouted, "you are the greatest in speeches Comrade!") and I wonder if we should, as good socialists, indulge ourselves in this type of behavior when we are, as the proles say, "up to our necks in work" remaking the nation. I think so.

But since I have been asked, and since I have the floor and the teleprompter, I will of course, have something to say about something. (Loud applause and cheers.)

First of all, I would like to express my thanks (applause ) to the SEIU members and the other community organizers for the assistance they have kindly given to me. May their work for social justice continue. (Applause.)

Secondly, Allow me to denote my love and profound gratitude for aggressive confidence and actions of the New Democratic Party, chaired by Comrade Rahm Emanuel, led by me, as the personal representative of that Party, of which I am a proud member. (Cheers.) I know that this confidence lays upon me fresh duties and thus, heavier responsibilities to this collective nation. We socialists have never flinched from our duty to the collective or the proles and thus, I accept these tasks willingly. (Prolonged applause until the Dear Leader raised his hand.)

I assure you, fellow comrades, that you may rely on Comrade Obama now and in the future. (Loud and sustained cheers.) Since we no longer have to waste time with elections, I, Comrade Obama, will continue to discharge his duty to the collective, (applause ), to the proletariat (applause ), to the defense of the Motherland, (wild applause), and to the intelligentsia. (Applause.) (One man in the front row shouted: "We will all follow Comrade Obama into the rest of this century!")

Furthermore, comrades, I would like to congratulate you on the occasion of the forthcoming national holiday, the day that I was born. (Loud applause.) The day of my birth was not a normal day comrades, thus, it should be, and now is, a national holiday for our workers and the intelligentsia. (Loud applause.) Never in the history of the world have there been such really free and really democratic nation such as the Unified Socialist States of America or more commonly known as, The Western Worker's Paradise. History cannot reveal any other example like our new nation. (Applause.) Our elections will now be universal, with myself on the ballot, secret, direct, and with full equality. That fact in and of itself is important because our universal elections will be carried out as the freest elections in any nation and fully verified as true and fair by our friend and comrade, Jimmy Carter, who has overseen democratic elections in countries like Cuba, Chad, Zimbabwe, and Libya.

Thirdly, we are no longer held hostage in an atmosphere of class conflicts, brought to bear on the voters by the bankers, CEO's, landlords, and other capitalist sharks. We have negated their influence by holding our fair and secret elections. Here in the USSA, there are no longer any capitalistic running dogs to exert pressure from the propertied classes on non propertied classes, in order to keep them oppressed. We now can collaborate in true social justice, the workers, the proles, and the intelligentsia, in an atmosphere of mutual friendship and respect, to keep me in office, because there is no longer capitalists in our country, to bring oppressive pressure to bear on the masses, to distort their will. (Huge applause)

Fourth, we no longer have to worry about a nuclear war with our traditional enemy, the Former Soviet Union, as we have unilaterally disarmed and now rely on my great friend, Comrade Putin, for aid and succor in times of internal stress and discord and I defer to his judgement in times of global angst.

In closing, my fellow comrades, that is why I have decided that our future elections will be secret and equal and the envy of the entire world, with but one choice on the ballot, as not to confuse the proles. Thus, the Unified Socialist States of America, led by Comrade Obama, will lead the world in true Marxist fashion. "Less is more and more is less." (Loud applause.)

(Comrade Obama exited the Politburo on the Potomac to a standing ovation.)