Thursday, December 2, 2010


"Good evening my fellow Americans. Not only am I a proud citizen of this great and mighty nation, but I have the birth certificate to prove it! Americans, it is my dream to put this Nation back on the tracks that the founders laid down two hundred and twenty one years ago, if I am elected President. To be sure, both parties have been reckless, treacherous, and stupid when it came to governing this nation and have piled debt upon debt, leaving wreck and ruin in their wake. From massive regulations that take a PhD to understand to pet projects that reward their cronies and lobbyists, like the current administration, chock full of Goldman/Sachs, feeding from the public trough, they have governed more like clowns than statesmen. We now owe over thirteen trillion dollars or roughly 44,000 thousand for every man, woman and child in America. This is a crime and those responsible should and must be punished.

Justice, my friends, is an attribute of the Creator. That the righteous should be rewarded and the wicked punished is a natural expectation in a just Universe governed by a just Creator. However, in our government, the facts of life conflict with this expectation and thus, there must be an explanation of absence of justice within our government, and there is. That explanation is that those in power are corrupt. They co-opt the new blood and turn them against their fellow Americans as they seek to feather their nests. They perform shady deals, such as Obama Care, behind closed doors, with the transparency of a fog bank. They seek to control American ingenuity by outlawing the incandescent light bulb for a bulb filled with mercury, by making an electric car so shoddy as to be useless, but a campaign donor makes the charging station, so they forge ahead. They have lied about global warming or whatever the current phrase is. They seek to rule by Executive Order and bypass Congress and the Senate at every turn. This is not fair. This is not just. It is criminal.

This administration, the 111th Congress, and past administrations have ignored the dire need of America for domestic energy that can fuel the economic engine that once led the world in every category, providing jobs for every American, bringing about new innovations, which led to a better quality of life for everyone, even foreign nations reaped the benefits of our labors! Under my administration, should I be elected, America will forge ahead using our God-given natural resources, onshore and offshore, from sea to shining sea, to unleash our economic juggernaut again and we will do so using modern technology to carefully drill, mine, refine, use nuclear power, and employ a reasonable, not unreasonable consideration for the environment at every turn. I plan to seriously reduce our dependence on foreign energy because this money simply moves from our hands to the hands of our enemies, which we then have to spend money fighting against. This is stupid and wasteful much as the taxpayer-subsidies for corn ethanol is stupid and wasteful but a hat tip should be given to Al Gore who finally admitted that it was stupid and wasteful and that he endorsed it in order to receive campaign contributions from farmers. This, also, will be looked into by an independent investigator, should I be elected. I promise you, justice WILL be done in my administration.

America CAN move forward. Why? Because we not only HAVE the best technology in the world but we are the true innovators and inventors. Americans are the hardest workers when that work makes sense! Yes, there will be accidents but we will deal with them as adults, not as children looking to Daddy Government to clean up the mess. The private sector, with a small amount of State and Federal Government oversight, and I mean SMALL, will ensure that fairness not greed, justice not injustice, and honesty over dishonesty, will rule the day. This government knows that it is the American people who create small businesses, that employ their fellow Americans, who work hard, count their pennies, think, dream, and then build those dreams into prosperous businesses that create, as Ronald Reagan once stated, "a rising tide that floats all boats." The Federal Government WILL get out of the way of private enterprise and WILL not work to limit individual freedom as the current administration has. Our motto thus, is "WE CAN DO IT!"

As your President, I can tell you that we will no longer support any country that does not steadfastly stand by us and that includes the United Nations who are hereby put on notice that an eviction notice will be one of the main points of my first term. We will no longer waste billions of taxpayer dollars on them and neither will they occupy any land in America. America WILL return to a position of power, honor, strength, and prosperity the likes of which the world has never seen before and we will do it by being optimistic not pessimistic, by having a "WE CAN DO IT" attitude not a "no we can't" attitude or worse, "the government won't let me do it" attitude. America will no longer compromise with our enemies but will meet them head-on. America did not back down in the race to reach the Moon and we will not back down now. We did not avoid the challenges and setbacks when we took on the world's superpower in 1775 and we will not falter or misstep anymore. No more corrupt governments as friends, no more foreign aid to countries that hate us, and no more betrayal of our true friends in the world, and they know who they are. America, will be again, that shining city on the hill and any obstacles in our way will be removed with that "WE CAN DO IT" attitude. America will prosper again, bet on it, believe in it, because it is going to happen. American will be, as the Marine General so aptly stated, "no better friend, no worse enemy."

The current administration has been good for nothing but limited and hamstringing America and for taking vacations when the going gets tough, or just vacationing for the heck of it. Another promise from me to you is that I WILL NOT take a vacation until the work is done. I plan to cut to the chase, speak honesty, and not bandy words with the political "experts" and liberal self-appointed intelligentsia whose real world experience can be summed up in a nutshell, literally! They will whine and cry but I and my cabinet WILL communicate in plain language to the American people straight-up, honest, and as one adult to another, as partners in bringing back the Great American Dream and the Great American Experiment that our Founders intended this nation to be. WE WILL be grounded in the sound conservative principles embodied in our Constitution. You, the American people, will be able to chart our progress through our DEEDS not our words.

In conclusion my brothers and sisters, I will not take no for answer in my quest to make America energy independent, to explore for and reap the resources necessary that will create millions of jobs for Americans, real Americans that is, and by taxing you less, regulating you less, and unleashing the American economic engine, it will turn our economy from a pilot light into a blast furnace, generate more income for the Federal government, which will be used to wipe out the thirteen trillion dollar debt piled up by this administration and for our infrastructure, not Africa's, or Europe's, or anyone else's. I will not take no for not having the finest military in the world filled with proud Americans and equipped by the products of proud Americans, as it used to be. I will not take no for an answer as to why the southern border is a porous as a sieve and why there are illegal aliens here committing crimes, taking jobs, sending money OUT of America, and working to destroy this nation. I will not take no for an answer as to why America cannot again be great. To those who would stand in my way if elected, I put you on notice. You will be lambasted in the bully pulpit and outed to the American people who need to know the perfidy and treachery of those who back stab their efforts.

Thank you and good night.


  1. Okay, but I want to know when you are running?
    You have my vote!!

  2. Nanna,

    Two things.

    1. I don't think that the Congress or Senate or our enemies are ready for me to lay into them with a good caning! haha

    2. I don't have 500 million burning a hole in my pocket!

  3. GunnyG

    Have you heard?

    Hal Drunkahue's Family is under investigation for fraud!

  4. At first, I thought that this was a speech should have given, but then I saw Rod Serling and realized I had crossed over into the Twilight Zone. For your consideration, what would happen if a current politician gave this speech?

  5. Good shit. A little polishing here,and it would be outstanding.

  6. Georgetwin,

    I HEARD THAT and LMMFAO! I LOVE seeing asshats geet their comeuppance! Has the criminal been on TH lately?

  7. Pack Rat,

    They would upset the career politicians in DC and excite the population no end!

  8. clyde,

    Thanks for the kudos. It has been boiling in me for awhile.

  9. Gunny,
    looks like both of us could easily run on the same ticket. Our priorities and visions are very much alike, and so are our speechwriters.

  10. Crawfish,

    I would definately take you on as VEEP! haha. Unlike Obama, we can write our own speeches AND speak from the heart w/o teleprompters.

  11. Gunny,

    That was freaking AWESOME!!!!!!!

  12. Well....the VEEP's job is to work behind the scenes and occasionally be an arschloch.

    I'm fully qualified!