Wednesday, September 7, 2011


Okay, BrianR has informed the Gunny that TOTUS (Teleprompter of the United States) has QUIT to take a gig in Hollyweird. So the Gunny filled in for TOTUS and wrote Bur'aq al Obama's speech for him. Here are the highlights in between the er's, ah's, um's, doh'd, etc.
1) The economy is in bad shape and the growth is not good.

2) I inherited this problem from Bush and the GOP.

3) The Congress is standing in my way to doing great things.

4) We're gonna need a whole lotta money to fix Bush's problems.

5) More government means more jobs means more growth.

6) I promise to make things better if you reelect me, really I do.

7) Did I mention that Bush is at fault?

8) Did I mention that we need to invest in America's infrastructure by spending more?

9) Did I mention that the GOP has stood in my way since January 2009 eventhough the Democrat Party held both Houses from January 2009 to January 2011?

10) Did I mention that although the first stimulus was a total failure, this one will work? Really. I swear it.

11) I promise to spend it on things we really really really need, like more union jobs and more contracts for my homeys.

12. If you are on food stamps thanks to me, remember, boil your ribs first before you barbeque them and ONLY use clarified butter with your lobster tails.

Lastly, I'll be on vacation for the next couple of weeks because this speech wore me out. So, peace out. I'm off to Bali because I heard they have a kicking golf course there.



  1. Gunny,

    You might get an invite to try out to be a speech writer. The only thing that he might throw in that I think you missed would be:

    "Remember that I'm the ONE who finally got Osama bin Laden - just about pulled the trigger myself."

  2. Common Snse,

    Damn, I FORGOT that he fast roped in, covered the left side (Osama was on the right) or he'd have capped OBL himself!

  3. Gunny,
    Excellent! Did you send a copy of that to the WH? I'm sure they would appreciate it.

  4. Hardnox,

    I DID send a copy to the FBI HQ! haha.

    I would give everything I own to clap the bracelets on Obama and HALF of what I own to clap them on Eric "sellapardon" Holder.

  5. Great predictions. You must have a copy of the Leftist Handbook somewhere.

    Obama and his agenda got a “shellacking” in 2010, which means that HE is standing in the way of OUR agenda. Maybe Boehner will mention that.

  6. Greetings from the foot of the Mackinac Bridge. A little polish and you may have something there.

  7. That sounds about right. Whatever he says, you can trust that we've heard it all before.

    I can tell you what he isn't going to say. He's not going to say that he will pledge to spend the remainder of his time as POTUS getting government out of the way of business, since that would actually work!

    BTW, cool background! Semper Fi!

  8. LOL

    Ah, yes... all the Golden Oldies. A collection of The ObaMessiah's Greatest Hits. Now on sale at the low, low price of $14 trillion. Call now and reserve your copy!!


  9. CW,

    Like Sun Tzu said to do, I know my enemy!

  10. Sgt Relic,

    Thanks. I saw Craw's page and figured I'd do the same.

    Semp Fi brother.

  11. Arrogant, pompus ass.
    Well, an ass is a democrat mascot, right?
    He's a mascot, alright, soros' mascot.

  12. As it was meant to do.

    Never let it be said that we conservatives don't have a sense of humor.

    We have to. Otherwise the streets would be littered with dead libs.